Something you don’t know. When they shoot hardcore photos the good photographers don’t just shoot the performers posing, they just direct them having sex and use flash-guns to freeze the action. It’s hard to believe when you see the results but you are in fact seeing what you think they’re faking.
This set is not one of those occasions.
When looking at this baseball themed set you can tell Eve’s a Polish born woman who lives in England. It’s about as US as the l’American sandwiches they sell in the south of France made of half a baguette filled with mustard, two hamburgers and a portion of fries.
Which taste surprisingly good after a long night and a lot of wine.
Which brings us to her breasts.
(Anyone see what I did there?)
Zuzana’s ready for tennis but she needs balls. Luckily, I have a pair she can borrow. I’m sure we can work out some kind of barter arrangement that’ll satisfy. Or she can buy six for $5.99 plus a free restringing if she takes twelve.
Zuzana - the choice is yours. I’m waiting…
Zero points for realism, unless just out of shot there’s a grey plastic cart loaded with tiny soap and shower gel (mysteriously no toothpaste - what the fuck…) and she doesn’t speak English.
Actually a non-English speaking housekeeper who looks like Megan could get a job crapping in hotel toilets and then carefully replacing the paper seal. Something tells me she’s never been paid for whatever they they printed on her name badge.
Unless she’s worked at Dairy Queen.
Or some Korean electronics manufacturer called iLukpriti.
Wheras most porn stars and nude models look as if they’d fuck anyone, fashion models radiate a “I wouldn’t fuck you for the key to a Time Machine” vibe even when they’re naked and moments from being fucked by a fifty year old photographer, who tried to fuck their mother in the same room twenty years previously. My penis doesn’t care though. Nipples!
I detect another clever porn metaphor. She’s covered in thick, wet, white gunk. Hmmn… So many ways to interpret this I’m just going to take a guess…
Snow! It’s snow! They want us to think this chick’s an Eskimo!
I’m so much smarter than this photographer. Try to confuse me next time - SUCKER!
As you approach Gwyneth’s Playstation your attention is captured by an errant brown glob of… no, JESUS NO!… stuck to her labia majora.
By the time she tells you it’s a mole you’ve lost your wood.
N
